For those of you out there reading who know me, you know I like a plan and I don’t care too much for the “unknown.” I also have a twinge of control freak in me! This whole IVF process is completely out of my control and the outcome is completely unknown until its “time” and I can’t take it. My mind goes crazy…especially during the 2WW so to make me feel better, I’ve decided to come up with a backup plan.
We have been going through this infertility game for 5 years now and still no baby. Even though I pray that I’m pregnant right now, we all know there is no guarantee. I have to take control of some of this and make my way towards a family and all these drugs and procedures may not be able to do it for us.
So if things do not work out for this IVF cycle, this is my backup plan:
1. Take a break from all infertility treatments for the summer. Although I have limited days left to take off from my job, I want to go on long weekends with my wife. I want my wine back! I want to have a lot of sex (God willing)! I’m gonna party like its 1999 with some of my newly single friends since they are the only ones that still like to party and dance lol! I was 21 that year (1999) so I’ll be doing a lot of partying!
2. I know this will be a bone of contention with my wife but I’m gonna beg her to consider putting us on some sort of foster parent list immediately. She wants a baby. I don’t give a rats ass what we have as long as it is a little one to love. I would be open to fostering a child as old as around 6. My wife is a social worker and constantly thinks about the developmental and behavioral issues that a lot of these foster children experience and I’m trying to tell her that there is always a chance that we could physically have a baby with developmental and behavioral problems so who cares! With her education and my determination, I think we are equipped to handle any situation that comes our way! The only thing that worries me is fostering a child, loving that child as our own and having the child ripped away from us because biology trumps love. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.
3. Start looking at adoption agencies and getting our money right because this shit is ridiculously expensive! It can cost up to $20,000 but I don’t care. When I want something, I don’t let money hold me back. I wanted a big wedding and my wife oppposed because we couldn’t afford it. I worked my ass off with two jobs and an ebay business to make it happen. I took back bottles and cans for redemption and I rolled up buckets and buckets of change and I did it! We had a beautiful wedding with all the bells and whistles just like imagined. See how beautiful we looked…
I have that same determination when it comes to adopting a baby! I will do whatever it takes! My grandparents raised me and even though they aren’t with us anymore, I thank them and God every day for that. I would have been one of those children up for adoption or fostering if it wasn’t for them. Even if I am pregnant (which I pray so bad that I am), I will still either foster or adopt a child at some point in my life because of what my grandparents did for me. I need to continue the holding of that torch! Thank you so much grandma and grandpa; Harold & Raydelle Hicks. I love you, miss you, and think about you every day of my life.
Great! Now I’m crying!!! Gonna go get myself together now.
That’s my backup plan folks. Please pray that I won’t need it.
Thanks for reading!